what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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