You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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