I'm laying in your front yard are you home
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
