I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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