Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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