Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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