You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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