i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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