it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
