Quick, to the slutcave!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
