My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
