There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
