Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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