Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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