so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
