it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
