but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize