I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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