I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
