I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
