Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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