it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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