He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
