i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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