direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
