It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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