I seem to have left my pride at pride
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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