yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
