As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
