just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
