you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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