just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
