Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
A bitchslap is in order.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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