her vagine was all disorganized.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
