do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
