you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize