There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This house was built for laser tag.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
