So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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