I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
