I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
