Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We left the knife in your bed.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
