Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
