this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
