In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
