sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
