There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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