I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
