The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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