He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize