Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
