she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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