maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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