There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
