I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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