Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
