party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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