i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
