Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
