apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
