i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
