Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
