I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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