He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
