Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
