Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Im part way to drunk.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
