i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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