hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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