; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize