how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Everyone says I win the strip club
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
