first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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