I am puke
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
