i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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