I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
