Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
