Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
